我早就說了嘛！
Those 4 words never sounded so good
我從未覺得這幾個字如此動聽
til the June morning
直到一個六月的早晨
in my mom's hospital room.
在母親的病房里
It began when my mother was admitted to the hospital
事情的開始是這樣的，我母親要住院
for a really bad infection in her bladder.
因為膀胱有嚴重的感染
It was November 21
那是11月21日
when they called us to her hospital room
醫院把我們一家人叫到母親的病房里
to tell us my mom had a mass tumor
告訴我們，母親長了一個腫塊腫瘤
it was big in her stomach
在她的胃里，面積很大
and it was malignant.
是個惡性腫瘤
They went over a couple of options
他們列出了幾種治療方案
but all I heard was MDAnderson & biopsy.
我卻只聽到了癌癥中心和活體檢查
That same night at about 2 a.m.
當天夜里，凌晨兩點鐘的時候
my mom got dressed
我母親穿戴整齊
called my stepdad
叫上我的繼父
and walked out of that hospital,
兩人走出了醫院
she wanted to go home.
她想要回家
The next morning
第二天早上
we went to talk to the surgeon
我們去找醫生談話
to find out what does this mean,
去詢問母親昨晚的舉動有何用意
how long does she have by refusing treatment
她這樣拒絕治療，還剩下多少日子
& he said 15 days
他說，大概半個月
maybe less.
也可能更少
I was so scared
我害怕極了
I couldn't accept losing my mom
我不能承受失去母親的痛苦
my only parent
雙親里我只剩下她了
since dad died when I was 5 yrs old.
因為我5歲的時候父親就過世了
My stepdad was an ok kinda person
我的繼父是一個不冷不熱的人
just not involved with our lives growing.
在我們成長過程中，都沒有管過我們
So 15 days,
所以，還有半個月
I had
這就是我所有的全部
to pray, to beg, to cry,
我只有這些時間去祈禱，去乞求，去痛哭流涕
to spend time with my mom.
去與母親共度
I didn't judge her decision
我沒有職責她放棄治療的決定
she's my mom
她是我的母親
she has earned the right to decide what she wants.
她有權決定自己想要的是什么
My siblings didn't see it that way
我的兄弟姐妹們并不這樣想
but really what can you do.
可是你能怎么做呢
I asked everyone I came in contact with
我對自己能聯系上的每一個人都發出了請求
if they could say wish good luck for my mom,
我問他們能否祝我母親好運
I mean everyone.
我說的是所有人
The day came and went
日子一天天過去
and she did sleep a lot
她確實睡得很多
but my stepdad says she seems ok,
但是繼父說，她看起來情況還不錯
when I'd go visit her
當我去看望她的時候
I would just sit and stare at her
我坐在那里，緊緊的盯著她
I imagine she probably felt like a specimen under a microscope
我想，她大概覺得自己就像是顯微鏡下面的一個標本
because she'd just cough
因為，她只不過喝水嗆了一下
and all heads turned to her glasses of water
所有人都看向她手中的水杯
in every direction
從各個方向看著她
my poor mom.
我可憐的媽媽
Then 7 months later
7個月過后
she ends up back in hospital
她又住進了醫院
because her bladder is hurting real bad.
因為她的膀胱疼的很厲害
I remember sitting there
我記得自己坐在那里
just me and my granddaughter
只有我和我的小孫女
because she really wanted to visit her G.G.Ma
因為她很想看望一下她的曾祖母
and I watched her do her crossword puzzle
我看著她玩字謎
trying to sneak in a picture here and there.
設法在這里那里拼出一個圖案來
The oncologist walks in the room
醫生走進病房
asks my mom how she feeling
問我母親感覺如何
she says I feel fine
她說，我感覺挺好的
can I go home now?
今天我能回家了嗎
The Dr then says
醫生說
i'm sorry
實在抱歉
but I cannot be your doctor
可是，我沒法給你看病
so I cannot make that decision.
所以，我也不能決定你何時出院
She looks confused
母親一臉的疑惑
I'm stunned
我也感到十分驚訝
so I asked what did my mom do now?
于是問道，我媽媽又做了什么
He smiled
醫生笑了笑
and looked my mom straight in her eyes
直直的看著母親的眼睛
he says I'm a cancer doctor
他說，我是一個腫瘤醫生
since all your tests came back clear
你的結果都非常好
I cannot be in charge of your care.
我不能再掌管你的健康問題了
I'm looking at him
我定定的看著醫生
wide eyed big goofy smile
雙目圓瞪，一臉傻笑
and as I turned to see my mom's reaction
我轉過頭去看母親的反應
she picks up her crossword puzzle
母親拿起我女兒的字謎游戲
says as casual as can be
用最隨意的語氣說
"See I told you I wasn't sick!"
“看吧，都跟你說了，我沒病！”
I could only manage to say
我一時百感交集，只能說出話一句
"yup you sure did mom."
“嗯吶，你確實說過，媽媽”
That was 2 and a half years ago
這是兩年半之前的事情
and she's still mouthier as ever
她還和往常一樣巧言善辯
but I went and thanked everyone
我向所有的人都道謝了
because I truly witnessed a miracle first hand.
因為我真的親眼見證了一個奇跡
Those 4 words never sounded so good
我從未覺得這幾個字如此動聽
til the June morning
直到一個六月的早晨
in my mom's hospital room.
在母親的病房里
It began when my mother was admitted to the hospital
事情的開始是這樣的，我母親要住院
for a really bad infection in her bladder.
因為膀胱有嚴重的感染
It was November 21
那是11月21日
when they called us to her hospital room
醫院把我們一家人叫到母親的病房里
to tell us my mom had a mass tumor
告訴我們，母親長了一個腫塊腫瘤
it was big in her stomach
在她的胃里，面積很大
and it was malignant.
是個惡性腫瘤
They went over a couple of options
他們列出了幾種治療方案
but all I heard was MDAnderson & biopsy.
我卻只聽到了癌癥中心和活體檢查
That same night at about 2 a.m.
當天夜里，凌晨兩點鐘的時候
my mom got dressed
我母親穿戴整齊
called my stepdad
叫上我的繼父
and walked out of that hospital,
兩人走出了醫院
she wanted to go home.
她想要回家
The next morning
第二天早上
we went to talk to the surgeon
我們去找醫生談話
to find out what does this mean,
去詢問母親昨晚的舉動有何用意
how long does she have by refusing treatment
她這樣拒絕治療，還剩下多少日子
& he said 15 days
他說，大概半個月
maybe less.
也可能更少
I was so scared
我害怕極了
I couldn't accept losing my mom
我不能承受失去母親的痛苦
my only parent
雙親里我只剩下她了
since dad died when I was 5 yrs old.
因為我5歲的時候父親就過世了
My stepdad was an ok kinda person
我的繼父是一個不冷不熱的人
just not involved with our lives growing.
在我們成長過程中，都沒有管過我們
So 15 days,
所以，還有半個月
I had
這就是我所有的全部
to pray, to beg, to cry,
我只有這些時間去祈禱，去乞求，去痛哭流涕
to spend time with my mom.
去與母親共度
I didn't judge her decision
我沒有職責她放棄治療的決定
she's my mom
她是我的母親
she has earned the right to decide what she wants.
她有權決定自己想要的是什么
My siblings didn't see it that way
我的兄弟姐妹們并不這樣想
but really what can you do.
可是你能怎么做呢
I asked everyone I came in contact with
我對自己能聯系上的每一個人都發出了請求
if they could say wish good luck for my mom,
我問他們能否祝我母親好運
I mean everyone.
我說的是所有人
The day came and went
日子一天天過去
and she did sleep a lot
她確實睡得很多
but my stepdad says she seems ok,
但是繼父說，她看起來情況還不錯
when I'd go visit her
當我去看望她的時候
I would just sit and stare at her
我坐在那里，緊緊的盯著她
I imagine she probably felt like a specimen under a microscope
我想，她大概覺得自己就像是顯微鏡下面的一個標本
because she'd just cough
因為，她只不過喝水嗆了一下
and all heads turned to her glasses of water
所有人都看向她手中的水杯
in every direction
從各個方向看著她
my poor mom.
我可憐的媽媽
Then 7 months later
7個月過后
she ends up back in hospital
她又住進了醫院
because her bladder is hurting real bad.
因為她的膀胱疼的很厲害
I remember sitting there
我記得自己坐在那里
just me and my granddaughter
只有我和我的小孫女
because she really wanted to visit her G.G.Ma
因為她很想看望一下她的曾祖母
and I watched her do her crossword puzzle
我看著她玩字謎
trying to sneak in a picture here and there.
設法在這里那里拼出一個圖案來
The oncologist walks in the room
醫生走進病房
asks my mom how she feeling
問我母親感覺如何
she says I feel fine
她說，我感覺挺好的
can I go home now?
今天我能回家了嗎
The Dr then says
醫生說
i'm sorry
實在抱歉
but I cannot be your doctor
可是，我沒法給你看病
so I cannot make that decision.
所以，我也不能決定你何時出院
She looks confused
母親一臉的疑惑
I'm stunned
我也感到十分驚訝
so I asked what did my mom do now?
于是問道，我媽媽又做了什么
He smiled
醫生笑了笑
and looked my mom straight in her eyes
直直的看著母親的眼睛
he says I'm a cancer doctor
他說，我是一個腫瘤醫生
since all your tests came back clear
你的結果都非常好
I cannot be in charge of your care.
我不能再掌管你的健康問題了
I'm looking at him
我定定的看著醫生
wide eyed big goofy smile
雙目圓瞪，一臉傻笑
and as I turned to see my mom's reaction
我轉過頭去看母親的反應
she picks up her crossword puzzle
母親拿起我女兒的字謎游戲
says as casual as can be
用最隨意的語氣說
"See I told you I wasn't sick!"
“看吧，都跟你說了，我沒病！”
I could only manage to say
我一時百感交集，只能說出話一句
"yup you sure did mom."
“嗯吶，你確實說過，媽媽”
That was 2 and a half years ago
這是兩年半之前的事情
and she's still mouthier as ever
她還和往常一樣巧言善辯
but I went and thanked everyone
我向所有的人都道謝了
because I truly witnessed a miracle first hand.
因為我真的親眼見證了一個奇跡
