四級名師在線批改作文:有私家車的利弊

　　These days ,people who are able to earn a few more money invariably prefer to get a car .

　　Honestly speaking , it is indeed the case that a car might bring a convenience to us,for the reason that you might get used to driving to the suburb with families at weekends ,and workplace maybe far away from your home.what is more,when it comes to winter,the warm car will protect you from the frigid weather.Only a few people could resist the temptation to own a large car on such a terrible climate.

　　In most time, however,this is just part of the picture.people always disregard those neglect points with great ease.It seems that they forget the increasing car contribute to so many puzzled problems ,for instance,the distasteful traffic jim and air pollutation. people who are crazy about purchasing cars reckon them to be sort of crucial necessities.bue in fact,we can do without it most time.

　　As for me , car is necessary ,but not all . I cherish the belief that people could take it seriously and render the car efficient .

　　These days ,people who are able to earn a few（a little。Money不可數） more money invariably prefer to get a car

　　Honestly speaking , it is indeed the case that a car might bring a（刪掉） convenience to us, for the reason that you might get used to driving to the suburb with families at weekends（改成as you may prefer to drive to suburb with your family。首先，你習慣開車那一般來說不會是你要買車的原因，也不會是汽車給你帶來方便的原因；其次，families，呃親愛的，一個人能有多少個家庭阿） ,and （插入your。第一，可數名詞單數不可以單獨存在。第二，指明是誰的，和后面的you對應） workplace maybe far away from your home. what is more, when it comes to winter（改成winter comes。When it comes to sth.表示當提及什么什么的時候）,the warm car will protect you from the frigid weather. Only a few people could resist the temptation to own（owning） a large car（能問一下為啥一定要是large car么？） on（in） such a terrible climate.

　　In most time（改成in most cases）, however, this is just （插入a） part of the picture. People always disregard those neglect（neglected） points with great（with ease就足夠了。不用great。用了great的感覺就像舉個不怎么恰當的例子：他努力而輕松地作出了選擇。奇怪吧？） ease. It seems that they forget the increasing car（number of cars。汽車不能增長，但是數量可以） contribute（contributes） to so many puzzled（刪掉吧） problems ,for instance, the distasteful（換一個詞來表示讓人不高興的吧。這里用這個詞嗯，其實堵車本身就沒有滋味可言） traffic jim（jams） and air pollutation（pollution）. People who are crazy about purchasing cars reckon（這個詞我喜歡。羅琳在Harry Potter里面就經常用） them to be sort of crucial necessities. Bue（but） in fact,we can do （do？do what？）without it（前面還是them，咋這里就成it了？） most （插入of the） time.

　　As for me , car is necessary ,but not all . I cherish the belief that people could（改成should.） take it seriously and render the car efficient（這里你想表達的是什么意思呢？p.s.這里有語法錯誤）.

　　These days ,people who are able to earn a few more money invariably prefer to get a car .

　　Honestly speaking , it is indeed the case that a car might bring a convenience to us,for the reason that you might get used to driving to the suburb with families at weekends ,and workplace maybe far away from your home.what is more,when it comes to winter,the warm car will protect you from the frigid weather.Only a few people could resist the temptation to own a large car on such a terrible climate.

　　In most time, however,this is just part of the picture.people always disregard those neglect points with great ease.It seems that they forget the increasing car contribute to so many puzzled problems ,for instance,the distasteful traffic jim and air pollutation. people who are crazy about purchasing cars reckon them to be sort of crucial necessities.bue in fact,we can do without it most time.

　　As for me , car is necessary ,but not all . I cherish the belief that people could take it seriously and render the car efficient .

　　These days ,people who are able to earn a few（a little。Money不可數） more money invariably prefer to get a car

　　Honestly speaking , it is indeed the case that a car might bring a（刪掉） convenience to us, for the reason that you might get used to driving to the suburb with families at weekends（改成as you may prefer to drive to suburb with your family。首先，你習慣開車那一般來說不會是你要買車的原因，也不會是汽車給你帶來方便的原因；其次，families，呃親愛的，一個人能有多少個家庭阿） ,and （插入your。第一，可數名詞單數不可以單獨存在。第二，指明是誰的，和后面的you對應） workplace maybe far away from your home. what is more, when it comes to winter（改成winter comes。When it comes to sth.表示當提及什么什么的時候）,the warm car will protect you from the frigid weather. Only a few people could resist the temptation to own（owning） a large car（能問一下為啥一定要是large car么？） on（in） such a terrible climate.

　　In most time（改成in most cases）, however, this is just （插入a） part of the picture. People always disregard those neglect（neglected） points with great（with ease就足夠了。不用great。用了great的感覺就像舉個不怎么恰當的例子：他努力而輕松地作出了選擇。奇怪吧？） ease. It seems that they forget the increasing car（number of cars。汽車不能增長，但是數量可以） contribute（contributes） to so many puzzled（刪掉吧） problems ,for instance, the distasteful（換一個詞來表示讓人不高興的吧。這里用這個詞嗯，其實堵車本身就沒有滋味可言） traffic jim（jams） and air pollutation（pollution）. People who are crazy about purchasing cars reckon（這個詞我喜歡。羅琳在Harry Potter里面就經常用） them to be sort of crucial necessities. Bue（but） in fact,we can do （do？do what？）without it（前面還是them，咋這里就成it了？） most （插入of the） time.

　　As for me , car is necessary ,but not all . I cherish the belief that people could（改成should.） take it seriously and render the car efficient（這里你想表達的是什么意思呢？p.s.這里有語法錯誤）.