學(xué)會(huì)說(shuō)不 設(shè)定界限后你的生活發(fā)生這10件大事
It's not selfish to prioritize yourself.
優(yōu)先考慮自己并不自私。
You can’t be all things — or do all things — for all people.
你不可能成為萬(wàn)物，或者說(shuō)你不可能為所有人做一切事情。
A life without limits means rarely saying “no” and considering everyone else’s feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to burnout, a major health hazard in its own right. They disregard how much work or effort you can handle on a regular basis.
沒(méi)有界限的人生意味著極少說(shuō)“不”，而且在考慮自己的感受之前總是先考慮別人的感受。這些取悅別人的習(xí)慣不僅會(huì)使人完全筋疲力盡，它們還會(huì)直接把你推向疲憊不堪，而且是危害自身健康的一個(gè)主要因素。它們通常忽視你能處理多少工作。
That’s where boundaries come into play, according to researcher and public speaker Brené Brown. In a video posted on the subject last month that’s continuing to go viral online, Brown explains how establishing your own personal fences can do wonders for your wellbeing.
那就是界限發(fā)揮作用的地方，研究員兼發(fā)言人Brené Brown如是說(shuō)。關(guān)于這個(gè)主題的一個(gè)視頻在上個(gè)月被發(fā)布，而且繼續(xù)在網(wǎng)上像病毒一般擴(kuò)散開(kāi)來(lái)。Brown在視頻中說(shuō)明了怎樣設(shè)立自己的圍欄才能為自己的幸福創(chuàng)造奇跡。
“I’d rather be loving and generous but very straightforward with what’s okay and what’s not okay,” she said.“
我更喜歡細(xì)心周到又慷慨大方，但是會(huì)坦率地表明什么可以，什么不可以，”她說(shuō)道。
In other words, boundaries aren’t a way to keep people out. They make life as enjoyable as possible for you and for your loved ones as a result.
換句話說(shuō)，界限不是阻擋人們的一種方式，而是使你和你所愛(ài)之人可以盡可能地享受生活中的樂(lè)趣。
We consulted boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University’s Work/Life Employee Assistance Program, on the life-changing power of establishing a clear-cut view of what you’re willing to tolerate. Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits:
界限專家Chad Buck是范德堡大學(xué)員工工作/生活援助計(jì)劃中的一位臨床心理學(xué)家。我們向他咨詢了有關(guān)為愿意忍受的事物設(shè)定一個(gè)明確界限對(duì)人生變化的影響力。以下是在你學(xué)著設(shè)定自己的界限時(shí)會(huì)發(fā)生的幾件大事：
1. You’re more self-aware.
1、你會(huì)更有自知之明。
2. You become a better friend and partner.
2、你會(huì)成為一個(gè)更好的朋友和伙伴。
3. You take better care of yourself.
3、你會(huì)更好地照顧自己。
4. You’re less stressed.
4、你會(huì)感覺(jué)壓力有所減少。
5. You’re a better communicator.
5、你會(huì)是一位更好的通信員。
6. You start trusting people more.
6、你開(kāi)始更加信任別人。
7. You’re less angry.
7、你生氣的次數(shù)少了。
8. You learn how to say “no.”
8、你學(xué)會(huì)如何說(shuō)“不”。
9. You end up doing things you actually want to do.
9、你終于做了你真正想做的事。
10. You become a more understanding person.
10、你成為一個(gè)更加體諒別人的人。
It's not selfish to prioritize yourself.
優(yōu)先考慮自己并不自私。
You can’t be all things — or do all things — for all people.
你不可能成為萬(wàn)物，或者說(shuō)你不可能為所有人做一切事情。
A life without limits means rarely saying “no” and considering everyone else’s feelings before your own. Not only are these people-pleasing habits wholly exhausting, they put you on the direct road to burnout, a major health hazard in its own right. They disregard how much work or effort you can handle on a regular basis.
沒(méi)有界限的人生意味著極少說(shuō)“不”，而且在考慮自己的感受之前總是先考慮別人的感受。這些取悅別人的習(xí)慣不僅會(huì)使人完全筋疲力盡，它們還會(huì)直接把你推向疲憊不堪，而且是危害自身健康的一個(gè)主要因素。它們通常忽視你能處理多少工作。
That’s where boundaries come into play, according to researcher and public speaker Brené Brown. In a video posted on the subject last month that’s continuing to go viral online, Brown explains how establishing your own personal fences can do wonders for your wellbeing.
那就是界限發(fā)揮作用的地方，研究員兼發(fā)言人Brené Brown如是說(shuō)。關(guān)于這個(gè)主題的一個(gè)視頻在上個(gè)月被發(fā)布，而且繼續(xù)在網(wǎng)上像病毒一般擴(kuò)散開(kāi)來(lái)。Brown在視頻中說(shuō)明了怎樣設(shè)立自己的圍欄才能為自己的幸福創(chuàng)造奇跡。
“I’d rather be loving and generous but very straightforward with what’s okay and what’s not okay,” she said.“
我更喜歡細(xì)心周到又慷慨大方，但是會(huì)坦率地表明什么可以，什么不可以，”她說(shuō)道。
In other words, boundaries aren’t a way to keep people out. They make life as enjoyable as possible for you and for your loved ones as a result.
換句話說(shuō)，界限不是阻擋人們的一種方式，而是使你和你所愛(ài)之人可以盡可能地享受生活中的樂(lè)趣。
We consulted boundaries expert Chad Buck, a clinical psychologist at Vanderbilt University’s Work/Life Employee Assistance Program, on the life-changing power of establishing a clear-cut view of what you’re willing to tolerate. Below are a few great things that happen when you learn to set your own limits:
界限專家Chad Buck是范德堡大學(xué)員工工作/生活援助計(jì)劃中的一位臨床心理學(xué)家。我們向他咨詢了有關(guān)為愿意忍受的事物設(shè)定一個(gè)明確界限對(duì)人生變化的影響力。以下是在你學(xué)著設(shè)定自己的界限時(shí)會(huì)發(fā)生的幾件大事：
1. You’re more self-aware.
1、你會(huì)更有自知之明。
2. You become a better friend and partner.
2、你會(huì)成為一個(gè)更好的朋友和伙伴。
3. You take better care of yourself.
3、你會(huì)更好地照顧自己。
4. You’re less stressed.
4、你會(huì)感覺(jué)壓力有所減少。
5. You’re a better communicator.
5、你會(huì)是一位更好的通信員。
6. You start trusting people more.
6、你開(kāi)始更加信任別人。
7. You’re less angry.
7、你生氣的次數(shù)少了。
8. You learn how to say “no.”
8、你學(xué)會(huì)如何說(shuō)“不”。
9. You end up doing things you actually want to do.
9、你終于做了你真正想做的事。
10. You become a more understanding person.
10、你成為一個(gè)更加體諒別人的人。
